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Margie O'Connor's avatar

After my dear nephew died by suicide a lot of healing work ensued. He had a terrible bike accident where he lost his teeth and suffered from a concussion. He plummeted into a real depression. When he passed over I kept being visited by his grandfather in my dreams. My husband's father was a chef and during the depression with no liquor license his business was not making ends meet. he also took his life. They were both avid cooks. So I told his grandfather he now had to step forward and be the grandfather my nephew had never had. Whenever either of them would visit me in the dream time I sent them off to the kitchen. I imagine them both very happy doing what they love now cooking. This whole experience has shown me the importance of healing our family trees. I art journal about trees and our roots. I've reconnected with my families oldest living relatives. I long to be a good ancestor for the generations that follow. Every embolic I create an ice lantern and have tulips in the water. It reminds me of the bulbs that lie under the frozen earth that are waiting to unfurl and flourish.

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Rebecca Stapleton's avatar

My father died right before Thanksgiving some years back from cancer that started in his lung and spread to his liver. Our relationship had been strained from his second marriage to a jealous and vindictive woman who didn’t want my younger brother and myself to be recognized over her daughter and son. In spite of her attempts my father and I were beginning to rebuild our father/ daughter relationship when he began to succumb to the cancer.

He never admitted to me just how bad it was and I thought he was doing better until the night I got a call from my brother telling me that our dad was in the process of passing. I remember praying in tears to Father God begging him to not let my dad suffer and to please let him pass quickly. Cancer can be such cruel disease with people lingering in pain for weeks before passing. The next morning my brother called and told me that Dad has passed sometime in the very early hours of the morning. He also told me this; he went in to see Dad before his body was taken to the mortuary and on his face was the most beautiful look of total peace and a lovely smile. Whatever my dad experienced at his time of passing must have been beautiful and joyful.

I sometimes wonder if it was “right” for me to pray for the quick and merciful death of my father. I prayed this out of love and not bitterness. Is there a right way for something like this and could that beautiful smile have been because my dad was told that his daughter was praying this prayer?

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