Turtle Dreams
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This morning, I was sitting outside. The warm October sun poured a wave of softening heat all over me. My muscles relaxed. Sunny heat waves sent the fragrance of spicy chrysanthemums swirling through the autumn air. The cricket symphony played a monotonous tune that lulled my mind into misty territory where thinking and imagination merged into an Alice in Wonderland experience. I was falling down the rabbit hole of meditative stillness. Eventually, I poked my head through a tiny door that opened into a semi-psychedelic world of dreamscapes and meandering streams of images.
Suddenly, I had a moment of recognition.
I had strayed back into a dream from the previous night. I was walking in my yard, not far from my current seat. I was taking pictures when something in the grass caught my eye; at first, I couldn't make it out, but then I recognized it as a turtle shell. As I stooped down to snap a picture, I was startled to find it wasn’t an empty shell. I had come face to face with a turtle's wrinkly, wise face. Intense dark eyes and a downturned mouth were grave and silent. I paused momentarily in the previous night’s dream to ensure I correctly comprehended what I had seen. I took the picture, and my attention was drawn to a sound on my right. There stood a tall sunflower, far past its prime. A dark brown furry critter was gathering seeds from the drooping head. As it hurried down the stalk, again, I had trouble distinguishing what it was. Small, stout, with a thick, small tail. As if in response to this quizzical predicament, it joined a few full-grown others, and I saw that they were groundhogs. The whole troop ran off into the nearby woods as the dream faded.
The recollection of the dream state now allowed me to lucid dream and be an active agent in what was unfolding.
I returned to the moment I was face to face with the turtle.
“Do you have a word of wisdom for me?”
“Retreat.”
I took a step backward.
“No, I mean to say Home is where the Heart is. Ah, a platitude, yes, I know, not very helpful. Perhaps a better summary would be Solitude is Solace. Anyway, you know what I mean and who I am.”
This was a curious conversation, much like Alice’s interaction with the caterpillar reclining on the mushroom.
At that moment, the turtle transformed into the Hermit, and the encounter ended.
I did know what he meant.
For months, I’ve felt a sense of contraction, pulling inward and protecting myself from the torrent of current events, social obligations, social media, and unnecessary and unfulfilling work. My vision for myself and my life has grown smaller but has clarified and deepened. There is less I want to do, but I am now doing those things with more conviction, purpose, and pleasure.
Every introvert recognizes this pattern. We don’t want a hundred friends, just a few with whom we can have deep relationships and conversations. We want less that yields more substance, not the other way round.
Maybe you didn't get that from Turtle Hermit's sparse words—I understand, it wasn’t your dream—but I knew exactly what he was getting at.
Just like my initial perception of an empty turtle shell in the grass, my inability to recognize the baby groundhog on the sunflower stalk reinforced my inability to identify and comprehend the meaning and message of the dream. The groundhogs themselves carry an energy like the turtle. They retreat underground into the safety of their burrow deep in the woods, just as the turtle pulls deep into its shell for comfort and safety.
Now I see that the Hermit has been imposing his energetic pattern on my life for all these months. The Turtle, whose energy is aligned with the Hermits, was more than happy to visit me in my dream to pass on a message.
This was an important revelation for me or, rather, an important affirmation.
Like being an introvert, times of contraction, both internal and external, are not understood, honored, or celebrated in our culture.
We are told to “go big, or go home,” “dream big,” “shoot for the moon and reach for the stars,” “level up,” “expand exponentially,” “increase your reach,” and “do more and do it better.”
I can’t think of a single slogan we use that applauds the opposite. Can you? Let me know in the comments.
Yet here I am, experiencing and even dreaming of a different way of being. In some ways, this is an ego death for me, at least partially because unmasking our ego and finding our authentic self is work that is never completed.
I am now becoming comfortable with the truth that I like small things and am a private person. I enjoy relating to people one-on-one or in small groups. I want pleasurable work, a comfortably manageable workload, and an audience that is not hundreds of thousands or millions but relatively small, authentic, and engaged.
In short, I’m the opposite of what we today call a social media influencer. I have a gift and a calling that works best at the personal level, not the influencer level. While I’m perfectly comfortable being seen, doing a podcast, being interviewed, or leading a program live or online, my goal is no longer (nor was it ever, if I’m honest) to amass hordes of followers and be seen as famous, influential, a mover-and-shaker or even a thought leader. In truth, I’m a Hermit who will leave her cave when necessary to fulfill my helping, guiding, and healing calling.
The Hermit
The Hermit is an invitation to seek the light of inner illumination. His lamp is direct gnosis, knowledge of the divine you can only receive through experience. It doesn’t come from dogma, doctrine, books, scrolls, creeds, or sermons. Any or all of those things may help prepare you or confirm what you receive directly, but the light of divine illumination in your soul must be sought and found by you on your spiritual path.
He leans on his staff, which is made of sturdy stuff. To accept this archetypal calling, you must have strong support, often from solid knowledge gained over many years of study. You must know who you are and be ready for the rigors of living the Hermit archetype. This is not a calling for everyone, and it’s certainly not something you want to romanticize, trivialize, or tinker with as if it were a novelty or costume to put on and off.
That said, even if this archetypal pattern is not suitable for you in the long term, there are times you may need his assistance, and you can call this energy in to help you at certain times. However, that is different from the Hermit being a defining archetypal pattern in your life.
The Hermit retreats into solitary and quiet places and doesn’t fear being alone with only his inner thoughts. The climb to the top of the mountain, close to the heavens, is arduous and requires divesting yourself of many of the comforts and conveniences we are conditioned to rely on. This also encompasses the need for validation, reassurance, and the sympathy, support, and ego-stroking people in our lives often provide.
When you are the Hermit, you are yourself unencumbered and unphased by the praise or criticism of others. You put off worldly attachments and seek what is ultimate and absolute.
What is your experience with dreaming, lucid dreaming, and animal messengers? Are you a Hermit? Have you, at one time or another, needed to retreat into the Hermit’s cave for a while? What was that like, and how did it help? Deep conversations in the comments are desired, so feel free to share your stories.
PS Find my recent essay A Discovery of Turtles HERE
An Autumn Course Offering
If you're experiencing a longing to connect with the Moon more deeply and discover your relationship with the powerful imagery and archetypal energy of our loveliest celestial light, I have an invitation for you.
In 2019, I began offering a yearly inner journey and creative experience called 13 Moons of Samhain. A creative community of moon lovers gathers for thirteen guided inner journeys that introduce you to thirteen aspects of the Moon and invitations to create art on MoonCircles cards like the ones below.
I'd love to introduce you to the creative, intuitive inner journey work I've found so powerful, illuminating, and satisfying. As a Hedge Mystic subscriber (free or paid), you can easily and affordably experience this profound work during the two weeks of 13 Moons of Samhain at a special discounted price.
Registration for 13 moons of Samhain is open. The Welcome Module contains lots of information and instructional videos, which are especially useful if you're new to intuitive collage and MoonCircles Cards.
The comments section is a safe and welcoming space to share your insights and experiences.
Comments and conversation are always appreciated and enjoyed, so feel free to let your voice be heard. I read them all and try to respond to each one.
Thank you for reading Hedge Mystic and participating in this vibrant and growing community of creative, spiritual humans. You are always welcome here, appreciated, and loved.
Listening to Spotify whilst reading this article the song 'Christine' by Siouxsie and the Banshee comes on, with the lyrics 'Singing sweet savages lost in our world, this big-eyed girl sees her faces unfurl, Now she's in purple, now she's a turtle...' and I can't believe the synchronicity. I have to pay attention. Thank you so much for this article. It really does ring true for me. Hermit. Yes. I've been doing a lot of inner work since a recent holiday to my ancestral hometown threw up some dark lessons for me about who I want to be and who I am, and how I'm seen differently by different people, and to some, will always be so. Faces. I shall look more into this! Thank you.
Thank you for this timely reminder. One of my Pandemic Lessons was learning that I don't need "career ambition" - that what I want out of my job is to (a) fund the important parts of my life while (b) not seeming like a waste of time. What do I need "advancement" for?
In some ways, making that admission felt defeatist, especially when I turned that idea of not "needing ambition" to my creative life. This post is such a comfort that I can do the work to set that sense of defeat down and honor both my work and my Work as enough in and of themselves.
I'll be filling up some notebook pages about this, I can tell! <3